Pain of One Sided Love

 The pain of one sided love can be such a haunting and intense feeling, especially when you are being hurt on the other side. This is what I had to endure when my husband cheated on me with another woman just months after the final breakup. It was an even more traumatic experience when he later admitted his betrayal to me in no remorse for the fact that he did not see it coming. That feeling is unbearable to think about as I continue to wonder how the person that seems so loving actually has something else to hide from you. What if there were a way to keep him away? How might this influence me in the long haul? What do we stand to gain from the situation?

I've seen firsthand how difficult it can be to get someone to stay with you when your heart hurts due to loving one person with all they have. Even though the person may say everything they need to in order to make you feel loved, they still won't be able to stay because they will always wonder why the other person would cheat on them. They might think they're doing their best by trying to make you happy and keep you satisfied, but you'll know that inside they are truly hurting. And honestly if you find yourself losing people that are deeply invested in you, try to see it as a way to heal the broken bits on your heart. Especially when the love is mutual, meaning both parties are willing to take a chance. You want to take a chance in any relationship, even if one party hurts in return for what you gave. To give and receive love and hope that you are cared for and loved; to show someone that you care about them. Once again, this is the pain of one sided love for you. When your significant other leaves it really hurts. There are moments when your mind goes blank and you are left on your own to think and figure things out on your own without anyone to give you support. Being lonely is a prime example of this. But once you figure it out and when you're back together, that's when you realize your partner isn't the only thing you will worry about at the end of the day. Your heart will never beat as fast again and you'll have to remind yourself why you fell in love with this person in the first place. This is an extremely hard problem to fix because you have to trust the person that wants you to stay. If the person is completely honest and sincere then they will want to stick around. However, when someone is hiding behind lies or hiding their emotions from you then it is very hard to trust and be able to be with that person. We have to learn to trust in order to start the healing process for our broken hearts. I believe that when two people share their deepest parts they can connect to each other. As much as we struggle to communicate with our partners in life, when it comes to love, communication plays a vital role. Don't lie to people you love; don't tell them how much you love them with all you have. Let them experience all the good times together that you shared; let them feel all the wonderful memories that you made. Allowing them to bond with each other through our differences and having fun. Be present in your partner's lives to make sure that you can share those amazing experiences together. Show the world that you're worth every bit of happiness that you could think to give. Make sure that they feel their most important part of you, which is being a couple. Nowadays, you don’t always need someone who loves you unconditionally but rather love that person with all your heart. It is true happiness after all. No matter if your partner is going through rough times or if something happened. Remember how great you felt when you weren’t there for each other and how wonderful it felt whenever you tried to be there for them.

                                                     

There will always be some pain because when one person is leaving, it is not easy to get over it. You love this person the way that you love them, but you feel like you could never live without them. So that person that makes you feel the strongest then you feel like you need them most and cannot imagine living without them. Sometimes, you become jealous of a person you love. You begin to peer downward on them. It gets worse if you think it’s true but it’s not, so you focus on feeling sorry for the person, knowing they can't control where that person is right now. Then you remember what you said in your vows to one another in the beginning. In no time, your feelings are coming up and you feel like you cannot love anymore. Then what you're left with is the grief that you feel. All you want to do is to make everything go back to how you started and to forget for a second what was going on. Sadly, there isn’t a solution to this problem. Only a loving heart can help us get past this pain and take us forward toward understanding. Maybe they would feel pain more if they knew what you had gone through before them and they saw how much you cared. Perhaps if they had been taught lessons in any of their past relationships, you wouldn't have to deal with them any longer. Maybe that will bring peace and joy. Maybe none will matter right now and now they may want to be alone but maybe someday they will realize, in time, you are the one for them. Maybe you will realize they were in love with the wrong person and they will have to forgive themselves and move on without losing your love. Maybe you don’t understand what those people went through, but maybe you have enough knowledge to save their souls. Maybe this will all happen right now but one day, it all will be solved as soon as you fall in love with someone else. Who knows maybe they will understand you.