12 things to do to light a fire in a relationship

Are you tired of not having any fire in your relationship? You have a great chance at achieving that with some simple changes to your ways. Here are the top things women need to do in order to achieve this feeling, no matter how big or if it has been the source of unhappiness in their lives. Follow these tips. If you follow them and they make an impact on your life, you will find yourself looking forward to experiencing more harmony with your partner.

1 Write love notes regularly

You probably won’t be getting into trouble for taking the time to write daily Valentine’s day cards for your significant other. However, writing positive relationships also means giving positive words, a lot! Your significant other is going through major growth throughout this process of growing together. They could be spending so much time focusing on issues rather than developing relationships, the type of bond, which can build up slowly, but surely, over time and space. What better way to spend time with each other and enjoy each other and feel like you are making real progress towards making it last? Writing love notes every single day, once that becomes a habit, will allow you all to know what your significant other is thinking about and the things that you both want to focus on. And just imagine, they will definitely notice!

2 Spend quality time together

Spending lots of quality time together in the bedroom is vital, whether you are new or have been together forever, because it allows them to open up a dialogue about areas in your relationship you are unhappy about. It will not only help you get to know why certain things are bothering your partner, but it can also give you something unique to talk about that will help make the communication stronger.

3 Use gestures for sexual pleasure

Using your body in a non-judgmental way, even when it feels awkward or uncomfortable, can go a long way toward strengthening the intimacy between you two. Not to mention giving them the opportunity to show interest by touching you in such a way as to send messages to others that you are interested in their body. This gesture can make the whole session more intimate and increase the likelihood that your partner will reciprocate that kind of action.

4 Try different types of sex

Sexual attraction can be very complex, and most people can relate to one specific orgasm. When trying different types of sex, make sure that both partners are comfortable doing so and that there isn’t any fear. There are plenty of apps available to help couples explore different ways of stimulating each other’s sexuality, from role play to position change and orgasms. Many couples find that they get closer and closer to being sexually satisfied when they use similar techniques as they do with their current partners. These techniques often lead to increased satisfaction in all areas of sexual activity.

5 Be willing to experiment

Don’t think back to your childhood/teenage years and think how wonderful time was when everything was perfect in those days. Maybe this was a period of high highs and high lows where everything was fantastic, but now, as adults, we tend to let ourselves take our minds off of things. We forget how good things were during those times and we don’t remember that it was good in the past. But what we may not realize is that when you start seeing the world differently, it makes sense that you will begin to see your relationship differently as well. The key here is just to be ready for that shift. You will start to experience more light in your relationship and you will feel happier and healthier because of it. Learn to embrace this truth and move forward with purpose and intention without letting anything hold you back because we all deserve love and happiness; and sometimes it is even good to try new things.

6 Take frequent self assessment

When you first start dating someone, this might seem to come very naturally. At first, you find someone special, you feel connected to immediately, it’s almost like nothing can tear you apart. After a while you discover that you have many things in common that you can learn from. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to understand and accept the differences in yourself and your partner, but you will discover that you aren’t quite in sync with others and that your needs, desires, motivations aren’t matching up with theirs. You must acknowledge this. Because if not, it will create problems. So if you fall victim to falling head over heels with anyone, start asking yourself the following questions:

Why is something important to me missing? Why do I have certain traits I don’t want to change? How does my attitude and behavior match up with other people I have dated? How does my appearance affect other people? Is there any particular trait that I would like to remove? How could I make myself appear elsewhere a little bit less attractive? Why do other people find me attractive?

7 Make the relationship work

The biggest issue in relationships is communication. There is always plenty of reasons why one person is happy and another is stressed. Sometimes the things that we are told are true, are not. One of the best ways to understand this is to look at each other’s reactions. Look at what they say. See how you react to things, and then ask yourself if this explains why you are feeling the way you feel, even when this is not true. Sometimes, when people feel stressed or sad they respond that way. What do you remember from the night before? Did you fight? Tell your partner about it. Does your husband tell you stuff? Or is he indifferent? Do other people know (or are aware) of the situation? Perhaps they are supportive and understanding? Just remember that at times in your own personal interactions as well, the reactions you have to conflict situations can be influenced by external factors. If this is happening, the feelings they trigger, and the ways they manifest themselves can be exacerbated by the stress you are currently under. As you notice these changes, the stress and pain will become easier to handle and eventually you’ll find that you can feel calmer and happier.

8 Ask for opinions

It seems that asking questions about a person other than their opinion is somehow considered rude. Yet, asking someone else advice even out of politeness helps you see your partner in a new light. By listening to someone else’s opinion of your boyfriend or wife you may discover a side of them you hadn’t previously considered. Also, when you listen to theirs, you might discover that there may be some things that maybe bother you you hadn’t considered. Asking questions about things that are important to you can help you uncover possible areas where they are unsatisfied and open up a pathway for improvement.

9 Allow boundaries

When in relationships, most people don't understand that boundaries don’t exist on paper. They come naturally when we have healthy boundaries with ourselves, with others and with them, so to speak. While it is absolutely natural to ask for permission and to be assertive (and yes, some men do it too!), it is not natural to expect a return for allowing you to set limits so that you can thrive. Some guys just assume that as soon as they take control and get rid of the stressors, everything will heal itself. Wrong. For starters, you must develop good boundaries with yourself with the right intentions, and they must be reinforced in your actions so that even though you feel uncomfortable and scared at times, you know how to manage this emotion and it doesn’t interfere with your relationships at all. This takes practice, yet this basic rule should be easy enough for you to internalize and practice on a daily basis.

10 Be honest

Being honest with each other plays a huge part in a healthy relationship, but it’s equally as crucial to keep this in mind when interacting with family members, friends and colleagues. Of course, honesty must come with responsibility. Don’t embarrass others. Let things slide because you don’t need to worry about upsetting others. Keep in mind that you don’t always have to tell everyone everything at once. You certainly shouldn’t feel that you have to share every detail with everyone at once either. Remember, this is a relationship, first of all. You want to trust someone with your heart, and there is no point lying if you are unsure. Even if you lie to protect someone, you won’t have built a safe environment.

11 Show vulnerability

One of the most powerful tools we have is our ability to feel vulnerable, especially around the ones who care about us. Openness and emotional openness are powerful emotions, so when you show them, it creates opportunities for you and him to reconnect emotionally. You are showing him that you have his back, that you are here for him and there is nothing left on the table. Again, it's important to remember that while this is about the partnership and your relationship, it is really about building a strong foundation on both sides, so it can work wonders both for you and him if you keep in touch with your inner child and allow him to grow.

12 Smile

Smiles are wonderful, fun and uplifting things that you can and should put a lot of effort into, especially when it comes to your close people. Smiling brings joy and boosts your mood, so it’s important to keep smiling even when it’s hard because that smile carries a lot of messages with it. Everyone knows that there's nothing wrong with an occasional laugh, but the thing is that we can’t let this constant jitteriness take over so if someone smiles at you, it shows them it isn’t a problem that’s likely to end in tears. Always pay attention and smile even when it doesn’t feel like you should, because that smile can go a long way when you’